Little Blessings

So Luke and I finally cracked open the book, "Life As a Navy Seal" the other day. Riveting piece of literature for a 5 year-old boy. For myself, the most entertaining elements are the questions and reactions that Luke has to the book. The beginning of the book mentions that a good Navy Seal knows both his strengths and his weaknesses. Luke stopped me immediately after I read that, "Weaknesses?". I responded, "Yes Luke, we all have weaknesses and it's important to know what they are." He quickly brushed this aside and asked me to continue reading. After telling my husband about this, the next morning I decided to have a little laugh at Luke's expense. I asked him if he ever figured out what his weaknesses were. Without skipping a beat he responded, "Yup, poison. I'm definitely no match for poison." Ahh, to be 5 again!

I remember that feeling of immortality. The sky was the limit in my innocence. I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up, the possibilities were limitless. Of course, a poison apple would send me into a dreamless sleep like Snow White, but you always woke up, married the prince and lived happily ever after......and then you grow up.

I quickly learned that life isn't always about happy endings. That I, in fact, do have limitations to what I can and cannot do. Perhaps I learned a little earlier than some, and most certainly learned it the hard way. Some of my false notions of infallibility led me to some very dark places and brought me to my knees. I mourned the innocence of my youth. I missed that feeling of endless possibilities. I often felt trapped by my life's situations and even by my own physical limitations.

Fortunately, these moments of darkness and despair have always led me to a higher understanding. Accepting that God's will for my life is a happy ending, but that it may not be here on earth. Knowing that I have limitations when I rely on myself, but God's power is limitless and can carry me through anything has lifted my soul. Realizing my weaknesses allowed me to embrace the ones that I couldn't change and strive to better myself by working on the ones that I can. I no longer mourn my youth, but rejoice that I learned so much from it, embrace each day and look forward to the future with an excitement that I haven't had since I was a child. I know that I'm not trapped, but am enfolded and embraced by a God who loves me not in-spite of who I am but because of who I am.

It is with that childlike faith that I have, as an adult, become aware of my weaknesses and realize that they are often the reasons for my strengths. As long as I keep on turning my weaknesses over to the Lord, He keeps on adding to my strength. I saw a perfect example of this kind of faith in Charlotte the other night. After her bedtime story and prayer Charlotte said to my husband, "Daddy, when I can't fall asleep at night I know I need to pray to Jesus." Neither my husband nor I had ever told her this, but we were so tickled to see that she knew that turning to the Lord would help her in her time of need. The next night as Charlotte was going to sleep she turned to my husband and said, "You know what Daddy? Last night I had to pray to Jesus for a loooooong time." I have often heard Charlotte talking at night after tucking her in. How awesome it is that without being told, my little girl and her childlike innocence knew to turn to the Lord with her weaknesses and He bestowed upon her His strength.