See You in September...

I know I should be sleeping.... it's after midnight and I'm still in "summer mode". I think we can call this a classic case of denial. My kids start school tomorrow and I'm on the computer with an interesting movie on HBO playing on the TV. I can sleep in in the morning right? Tomorrow when that alarm clock goes off I am going to be hating myself. So why am I still up? I guess it's that stubborn little girl that's still in me. The one that keeps me banging my head against the proverbial wall of reality. The one that says, "It's not even Labor Day, there is no way that school is starting....right?" It's the reason that I did school supply shopping today, the day before school. (Thank goodness for Walmart!) I just spent over an hour organizing backpacks and supplies and lunch bags. That should be sobering, but I always find it comical how very automated, like a factory, I have to sort the chores of caring and preparing things for five children. The line up of backpacks, the mechanical filling of lunch boxes. It's sort of fulfilling. Seeing the chaos of the supplies on the table, neatly filling those backpacks. Knowing that these tools are going to be used by my children in their process of learning. The excitement of opening a fresh box of crayons. Remember that smell? That neat feeling of a newly sharpened pencil. Swearing that you'd keep them that sharp and neat all year long...... I guess I can relate to that and feel the nostalgia.

The excitement of seeing friends that I missed over the summer. That crazy denial (yes, I had it even then) that it was too hot to wear that new outfit I bought that involved long pants and long sleeves. The nervousness and yet positive anticipation of seeing friends that I hadn't seen all summer. I can remember the days before school started floating on a raft in my pool, thoroughly soaking in the sun and then the breeze would blow. I'd hear a certain rustle in the trees and smell a familiar smell and i knew that school was on its way. No matter how much Hawaiian Tropic suntanning oil with the scent of coconut and pineapple that I applied could cover the impending responsibility of the school year. Certainly, the fact that my high school was literally behind the fence in my backyard didn't make things easier for me...

I guess I always really loved the first day of school. Even though in my awkward days of adolescence and teenager-hood (is that a word?) the first day of school always was slightly frightening. Did I make the right decision with the outfit I chose? After all, first impressions were so important in those silly days of status-climbing/securing. Was my acid-washed denim skirt with the bandanna fringe "cool" enough to start the year off on the right foot? Apparently not as I didn't get the memo that everyone else that year was wearing a tapestry vest with jeans. Bummer, I couldn't quite afford that vest that year, but I'd try harder next year.....

I'm so glad that my kids don't have to deal with that kind of social pressure in the schools that they attend. Sure there is still the need to fit-in but is is surmounted by the emphasis on a relationship with God. Even thought the girls will surely be comparing outfits from Justice and Abercrombie and the boys will be making fun of each other for everything they possibly can, theyu are in a school where they have the freedom to pray for each other They can lose the socioeconomic bounderies and connect with their peers in a way I never could...

So as the bittersweet first day of school arrives. I look forward to the stability of a schedule. The amazing love that my children feel as they are enveloped by the Christian staff and student-body. The "freedom" for me that comes with my kids being engaged by others, and the comfort that they are in loving hands. I may mourn the passing of summer. I may balk at the progression of my children's years because it means that time is moving on and my "babies" are growing up. But deep down I know that wonderful things are to come. That the growth of my children is imminent and is a true blessing. I see where I am today and the path that has taken me there. From floating care freely on a raft in August to packing four backpacks years later. I am where God has designated I be, and I am blessed right where I am supposed to be.