Unlike the ecstatic shopping cart-riding parents in the commercials, I do not find this to be the most wonderful time of year. I love the free days of the summer months where my children and I can explore the dragon flies' flight patterns in our flower garden, where my garden calls to me each day for a visit, where I can sit on my porch and watch the kids catching lightening bugs (fireflies for some of you) and listen to the frogs sing their summer symphony.
Once September comes I find myself reluctantly thrown into the realm of tight schedules and a break-necked pace of life that comes with a job and five kids. Suddenly mornings of loafing in our pj's are filled with alarm clocks screaming before dawn, and rushing out the door fueled with too little sleep and too much coffee along with sun-glare and traffic. Afternoons of sun-bathing are replaced with work, school and errands being run. Late afternoons of lazy BBQ's give way to rushed dinners, homework, sports and community events. Evenings of porch-sitting give way to driving all over creation to find the right cleats or desperately needed notebooks. How can I possibly embrace fall like I do summer?
There was a time, during my youth when the sounds of the crowds cheering on the football game down the street meant seeing old friends again. The smell of sharpened pencils and new paint on old high school hallways were a welcome change to the boredom of late summer. The smell of fall leaves brought a sense of comfort to me. When the hissing of my parent's radiators and the scratchiness of a sweater worn out of storage made me feel warm and snug. The promise of the excitement of the upcoming holidays..Halloween candy, Thanksgiving turkey and football games and the pinnacle of all holidays: Christmas.
I find that anticipation gone. The excitement that once came with it is replaced by the stress of being an adult responsible for making it all come together for my children. The driving to the sports events so they can experience the roar of the crowd, the money to purchase the long list of school supplies and the tuition payments for a better school experience than I had. The beautiful fall leaves need to be raked and composted. The radiators only radiate heat if we pay the high oil bill. The sweaters only come out after a week's worth of dragging bins down from the attic and organizing and sorting. Holidays are exciting still, but also exhausting and expensive.
However, I refuse to give in to the negativity that the responsibilities of adulthood bring. It may take me longer to embrace fall, but I find myself harvesting the last of summer's treasures from my garden and jarring them. Perhaps it's one small way I can have a taste of summer all year long? I enjoy the pride I feel while watching my children have their successes and in how they handle their failures in their own school and sports experiences. I love watching them jump in the piles of raked leaves or when they climb the apple trees in the orchards we visit. I happily bake apple pies and crisps, filling my house with the smells of autumn. I decorate my house with pumpkins and share in my kids' excitement over their Halloween costume plans. I make the 8 hour trek to Ohio every year for Thanksgiving so as to give my children the kind of memories that fill my husband's heart and that have made a place in my own. I excitedly use my Christmas Club money to purchase gifts for my kids, picturing their smiles on Christmas morning. Even as the lover of summer that I am, I am not immune to the amazing beauty that fall brings. The crisp, bright colors of the leaves, the soft muting of the garden's grandeur. The smells of fireplaces and wet, newly fallen leaves. The sounds of the summer frogs replaced by the hooting of the evening owls or the howling of coyotes.
I find myself pulling on extra layers and my wool-lined boots and make my way to the one place that I always feel at-home, no matter what season...the woods. I inhale the subtly changed air with a deep breath and although I miss the salt-air of the ocean, I cannot help but be pulled in to the earthiness of the forest's beauty. I can see summer's last green breath being transformed into the fiery colors of autumn as a fitting send-off to the beauty and peace of my favorite season. In nature, fall becomes a rich celebration of summer's life. It's right there for all of us to participate in. I hope that I always choose to be a participant, even if at first I'm reluctant.
