Swings and Other Things

Wow it's been a whole month since my last post. I thought about posting a few times, but then when it came down to it, honestly, I got lazy. It's so easy to forget that putting my thoughts down is actually therapeutic for me. Speaking of therapy, I'm currently practicing my favorite form. The weather is actually nice enough for me to be sitting on my porch with a hot cup of decaf and the sun shining down on me! I missed this time for myself in the mornings. Winter mornings were bleak and drab. It was so hard for me to get out of bed, but when it's this gorgeous when I open my eyes I bound out of bed and don't look back. So what if the people on their way to work drive by and see me in my fluffy robe and slippers? I absolutely love feeling the sun on my face and listening to the wind chimes tinkle softly. The Spring robins are busy getting their early worms and there is even a woodpecker on one of our trees tapping out a rhythm adding to the music of my beautiful morning. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to have a few deer or the odd wild turkey stroll by.

During this time of Spring renewal I'm always reminded of the miracle of rebirth. Isn't it amazing how only a few weeks ago everything was brown, dry and dead? Now my lilac bushes have tiny green buds on them. The daffodils are promising to open any sunny day now. My forsythia are the brightest of yellows. My motivation re-awakens in Spring too. I feel the pull to start looking ahead. My garden planning has begun. In spite even of the fact that every year I have to fight the elements and the pesky wildlife and each time I wonder if it's really worth all the work, when Spring comes I look forward with excitement to planting my vegetables. The winter wonderland that was my backyard is quickly becoming my Spring and Summer paradise.

I can't help but be reminded of my childhood on days like today. I must've spent a lot of time outdoors because there are certain bird calls and certain smells even that spark distant memories for me. I heard a cardinal's call this morning and immediately I found myself thinking of my grandfather, who I affectionately called Pop-Pop until the day he died. He always grew excited upon sighting a cardinal. They are a beautiful bird and he found so much joy every time they'd come to visit his bird feeder. I think he felt as if they came just for him. I spent a lot of time with my Pop-Pop growing up. My mother worked full time until my younger brother was born and my Pops worked the night shift on the docks so he would watch me during the day. I have nothing but fond memories of him. He was strong and warm and loving. He was always smiling, (except when his Yankees were losing). His faith was what has helped me to build my own on. I was so fortunate to have been raised by such and amazing man.

I can remember on days just like today spending the morning with my mother's aunt who lived upstairs from my grandparents. Around noon my grandfather would wake up and I'd go downstairs to start my day with him. We'd begin by washing the breakfast dishes together. He always had the patience to let me "help" him. I'd pull the kitchen chair up to the sink and we'd have fun with the bubbles. I couldn't help but see the tree swing out the window that was over the sink and would begin asking as to when we could go outside. My Pops with a twinkle in his eye would promise that as soon as our chores were done we could. I think he looked forward to pushing me on that swing as much as I looked forward to swinging on it. This time of year the blossoms on the pear tree would be a thick and fragrant canopy over us as my cries for, "higher, higher!" echoed off the adjacent school walls. We would be sure to visit his green house this time of year and check on the seedlings that were coming up already. Another amazing gift of my grandfather's was that he had the greenest thumb ever. I loved the smell of the warm dirt in that greenhouse. As the weather grew warmer those seedlings would find themselves lovingly planted in his garden and diligently worked until they met their full potential. It amazes me today as a mother and adult that my grandfather had the patience to include me in each of his chores, making them seem like a game for me and still having the time to take me on adventurous walks to the local park, or to the corner store for an ice cream.

Yesterday was Easter. I host my family every year and we all can't help but feel the void that was left when my Pop-Pop passed away 3 years ago. His smiling face, him saying Grace before we ate are missing. I thought of him often yesterday as I watched the kids running with so much joy trying to find just one more Easter egg. He would have enjoyed their youthful exuberance so much. His spirit has touched me so that I find myself reminded of him in many of the things that I do. The most important, I think aside from his faith, were his patience and his ability to make time for what was important. Taking the time with all of the busyness of hosting yesterday to sit and partake in spending time with my family was so important to me. Every time I go into my garden I know he's guiding me. When I don't really feel motivated but I still take my kids for a walk to the park, he's smiling down on me. Most importantly I am reminded of his faith that kept him going through those hard years as cancer stole his strength to till the garden, his legs to take those walks and ultimately his life here on earth. He never once wavered in his faith that he was going to meet Jesus and that this life was wonderful but what lay ahead would be more amazing. I will never waver that one day I will once again find myself being pushed on a swing under a blossoming pear tree as my Pop-Pop and I bask in the love of our Creator together, once more.