Who You Callin' Bozo?

Have you ever been driving and have a moment where you're like, "ummmm, where the heck am I?" Now, you're not lost, you're on the road you're supposed to be on, but you're not sure what part of the road you're on or even if you're going in the right direction. The reason for this is usually a daydream or thought that took you away for just a moment. That just happened to me as I was picking Jason up from youth group. It may have been the music he was playing. Perhaps I went into a self-preserving safe place deep in my mind, to protect myself from "Nevershoutnever." Or, maybe I'm just shot because it's Tuesday.

Yes, Tuesdays can induce episodes similar to medically-induced comas for me by the end of the day. On the heels of a letter reminding me that my kids have been tardy a bit too often this year (why did they make school 10 minutes earlier?), I set the alarm clock for 6:00....pm. Yep, pm. Thankfully a recurring dream/nightmare where I can't find a bathroom with a door on it woke me up about 20 minutes before we had to leave. On any other day, this would be difficult to say the least. On a Tuesday? This is an absolute worst-case-scenario. On Tuesdays, we leave the house at 7:30am and don't get back home until about 9:30pm. In order to make this day happen, I have to first make sure that we have everything we need packed in the van. This includes, 5 backpacks, 3 lunchbags, 3 dancing school bags, 1 gym bag, 1 violin, 3 GEMS bags, 5 kids, 1 dog and his crate and multiple costume changes. After I load up my circus car, then it's trying to get everyone in said vehicle. This generally consists of, "Get in the car and get buckled in".....2 minutes later..."Get in the car and get buckled.",...........another minute...."What did I say? Get in the car and get buckled in."..........another minute and lots of kids fighting later, "GET IN THE CAR NOOOOW!" The circus car is cramped. The circus car often smells, especially in the winter when I can't open any windows. I am the head clown, so I get to drive. I also get to play DJ and librarian. Librarian, because Charlotte likes to read on her way to her destinations and requests various books that are always out of her reach. If they are in her reach, she is not interested. DJ, because my children share my love of music, but they don't necessarily agree on what types of music are worth loving. I spend most of the time reminding the demanding clowns of their manners. "How do you ask for the book Charlotte?" "How do you ask for the song that you want that Mommy really is sick of playing because I have to yell at myself to stop singing kiddie-tunes while out to dinner with her friends Luke?"

After this mind-numbing drive, I drop the kids off at school and both I and my car's struts sigh in relief. I then head to work so that I can spend time with other people's children. Yes, I get paid to teach other people's children how to stretch, breath and be zen. For free, I'll yell at kids to "GET IN THE CAR NOW!" I then run back to school, which did I mention is 20 minutes+ from my house, pick up Charlotte and pick up Luke. If it's not sub-zero or precipitating too hard, we'll play on the playground for a while to get the ants in our pants out. Then we head to my mother in law's as she lives in the same town as the kids' school.

After a snappy lunch, I coax Charlotte into her dancing school outfit which consists of pink tights made from a special material developed by NASA that causes you to break out in a sweat and think awful thoughts while putting it on your sweet ballerina, and a black leotard WITHOUT the spaghetti straps that Charlotte can't stop pulling down to her belly-button in class, showing all of her naked-cuteness to the world. Hair must be in a bun as per the rules of Miss Patti's School of Dance. After all, "Dance is more fun with your hair in a bun." Ahh, poetry.....not mine btw.

45 minutes later we're off to pick the other kids up from school, two in one town, one in another. Then we're back at Miss Patti's School of Dance so that the twins can continue with their Rockette training. Back to mother in law's to do homework with the other kids and an hour later, picking up the Chorus Line so they can start their homework.

Some Tuesday's we head 20 minutes back home and then I have to head down again at 9pm to pick Jason up from youth group. Every other Tuesday I am a GEMS counselor and co-coordinator so we change into our hip tie-dyed GEMS shirts and immerse ourselves in fellowship with lots of little girls and wonderful women. Then, I go and pick Jason up, etc. etc.

So, as I have a moment of panic while driving home in my clown car, wondering if perhaps, Alzheimer's is setting in early.. I must remember to give myself a break......and honk my big red nose under the big top.